Things Iowa Taught Us

  • Where’s 250th street? North of 249th street and South of 251st street of course, and a few blocks south of 267th street.
  • We’re pretty sure “Iowa” is another Native American word for corn (We thought it was maize.)
  • Iowa has farms, farms and yes, even more farms.
  • Loose meat sandwiches should be called the “I’m too lazy to” sandwich. Too lazy to add sloppy joe mix, too lazy to form it into a patty. Just eat it.
  • 100 pound catfish exist – and not just on the arm of a redneck noodle on CMT.
  • Lake Okoboji is effectively rated but Arnold’s Park is overrated.
  • Field of Dreams can still make Kimmer cry.
  • Apparently, any road can be a highway – doesn’t have to be paved in this state. Nope.
  • Iowa needs more rear window wipers – those back windows are REALLY dirty – see point above.
  • Sometimes, the legend is the person who CALLS the legendary phone booth.
  • Obsession and Passion differ ONLY in a writer’s tone.
  • Crooked streets are cool, but impractical. Thank God for tourists who want to drive down them.
  • The best ice cream is the kind that leads to spectacular views. (Eagle Point)
  • American Gothic hardly holds a candle to Callahan Gothic.
  • Tourist towns need to consider that tourists work.